I’ve been looking around …
as I know the truth is out there. For the truth about myself, as you’ve probably gathered if you’ve been reading my posts recently. And it can be a harsh, cruel world – self-reflection. Tony Robbins says ‘see the world as it is, not better or worse than it really is’. Yet harsh words can stream into our heads if we leave our mind unsupervised while analysing our hopes, dreams and aspirations.
I heard a tale, I recite occasionally, about carrying a cake into a parents retirement party. If I dropped the cake what I’d say to myself – you twit, you idiot (cleaned for obvious reasons lol) is very different to what I’d say if someone else had dropped it – it’s ok, it doesn’t matter. The way we talk to ourselves is often appalling and yet it’s our default for so many of us. Self criticism turns inward and before I know it the day’s turned dark.
All this amounts to is habit.
A habit of talking to ourselves badly. A habit which we can change, if we want to change it enough to make the effort. I heard of an amateur rugby team a few years ago. The team realised what their language was quite obscene and collectively decided to change. If trodden on, or hurt, or wronged they’d agree not to swear. A player got stamped on and his response was ‘by Jove that’s smarts a bit!!!’
Catch yourself early enough to stop the downward spiral. The first step is recognising early what’s going on. We call this ‘noting’. Recognising what’s going on in our mind. The second step is to assess whether what we’re thinking is helping or hindering in that moment. The third step is to alter what it is we’re thinking about to something more productive and/ or positive. I often think about what’s for tea!!! Or dancing, or funny moments, something which I’m grateful for or proud of.
Find some moments in your life that are a true reflection of yourself and cut yourself some slack. Catch yourself, assess and reprogram. It will take time and practice, as everything that’s worthwhile does. It’ll be worth it in the end and don’t forget the more times you recognise what’s happening the more practice you’re getting. Hence, ‘noting’ and finding the truth about what’s going on, is a good thing and giving you more chances to practice. The truth is out there – we just have to be willing to find it.
I hope this is of use to you. Have an amazing day.
Love and peace,
Paul :O)
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