Active listening has been around for a while now. If you’ve not heard of it before then it’s a great time to pin back your ears and listen up!
In a nutshell, active listening is the ability to listen while someone else is talking. To be fully present. That means you’re not forming you answer while they’re still talking. For many of us that’s hard to do! One reason is we already know the answer to other people’s problems.
We’re itching to let them know how clever we are. This may seem a bit harsh, but the reality is we’re all trying to massage our egos, in order to make ourselves look and feel good. There is another way, however.
Try active listening to the whole conversation…
Then come up with your reply when the other person has finished talking. After-all, they may well come up with the answer anyway. Then you’ll need to find something else to say. It will also give you all the information you need in order to give a more rounded reply. As opposed to just answering half of their statement or question.
Another reason for active listening is to let other people speak first. Speaking first gives us the opportunity to get a great idea in first. Once again we’re looking to be the genius in the room. It also has the disadvantage of us saying dumb stuff because we don’t have all the facts. We can also be seen as stating the obvious.
If you speak last, you have the advantage of knowing all the facts, who’s taking which stance and where best you want to position yourself and your ideas. Another reason is it gives us time to come up with something insightful that no one else has thought about. This is especially true when everyone else is jumping in.
Whoever you’re talking to…
Whether you’re talking to your spouse or in a corporate board meeting, it’s vitally important that your don’t end up on the wrong side of the boss. Take your time to actively listen, in order to determine exactly what’s been said. You’ll find you come out on top, if you make people feel they’ve been properly heard before replying.
Give yourself time to form good answers and replies in your conversations. Then people will want to hear more of what you have to say. Be the wisest person in the room by not jumping in early. Consider what it is that’s being said. Raise the standard of your replies and you’ll be the genius in the room without really trying!!! Active listening – you know it makes sense… and now we’re….
creating a new way to talk more wisely!
Good luck. Love and peace,
Paul
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